I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
