no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i now understand why vodka
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize