She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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