She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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