we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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