An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
