I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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