OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
