Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
