I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
