I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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