sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
