Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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