We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
