cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
