i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How does it feel to date your dad?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
