Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
