She's JV to your varsity
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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