No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
