that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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