So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have aggressive nipples.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
