I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
