I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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