i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
