I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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