I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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