And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how does that bad decision feel?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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