thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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