Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
