There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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