I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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