You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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