hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
