If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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