I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
