There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
