I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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