the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
