I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
