I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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