her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
