I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
