We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
