I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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