Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
