he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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