obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
