he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
