Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
