chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
