Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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