Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
