Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
