What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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